|Light of my life...|
Do we define sex by colour? Does a pink define us as a woman and blue as a boy? Pablo Picasso once said: "Every child is an artist; the problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up" How do they keep their imagination, please give children more than one colour! Thing is kids dont prefer the specific colour once a child is born but society imposes those colours on them. We see girls in pink and boys in blue. We see girls as teachers and nurses and boys as engineers and astronauts. Should we limit our children to only one colour and force them to paint their lives as pink or blue or let them dream limitless dreams? Should I tell my daughter no you should not be an astronaut that is boys job, or no you cant wear pants they are for boys only or no you have to wear only pink. When I go to the shops I am faced with walls of pink vomit on clothes that are for girls and mountains of blue for boys. Girls stuff only has unicorns, fairies, princesses boys stuff has robots, astronauts, math formulas, all the fun stuff.
I came to dilemma I Have almost two year old who is ready to make the grand migration from my bed to bedroom of her own. I gave to my first child amazing bedroom full of colour and shapes and stars so I wanted to do same for my almost two year old daughter. I got immediately jumped by people I know: "You can't do that she is a GIRL." Like I have not known this already and have not given her birth to begin with, bathed her, changed her nappies nor ever saw her naked.
I am a big fan of everything sci-fi. I told my husband I dream of at least one my daughter being an astronaut or scientist and settling Europa. He was immediately "I do not know if you are nuts or you are joking." Thing is I was serious. I want a blue bedroom with stars and planets and nebulas and space ships. I want solar system mobile for light, I want aliens poking behind comets, and for God's sake I want star ship Enterprise on bedding for her. I want to make it fun and to show her there are no limits to the dreams. Everyone is having go at me because it is apparently preposterous to have a blue girls bedroom. It is ridiculous to have astronauts on walls for girls or solar system for light, and apparently Star Trek is only limited to boys. I remember myself as child watching all Star Trek episodes, and swooning over Wesley Crusher (for the record Wil Wheaton is still amazingly hot) and dreaming about space exploration. I still have all episodes of Star Trek on dvd sets, also all of Babylon 5, Battle Star Galactica, Firefly, Dune, Farscape, Stargate (SG1, Atlantis and Universe), Red Dwarf... I have most of the classic sci fi books starting with Battle Field Earth, all of Scott Card books, name it I read it and have it. When I saw the Mars settlement with www.mars-one.com/ I was immediately jumping thinking I could do it however I have kids now, husband and am sick however I hope my children will have a chance to chase their dreams. For my 40th I want a fucking bat'leth hanging on my wall, I want Klingon themed birthday bash with blood wine and gagh! (I am just dreaming would not mind Black Sails themed one either)
Thing is I do not want to limit my daughter to Fifi and Flowertots, there is Thomas the Tank Engine too as well as Fireman Sam. There are books about dinosaurs and rockets and aliens, there are books about science, not only damsels in distress, princesses and fairies.To be honest Barbie's and Mattel toys are banned from my house. For me LEGO rules (love the new Lego where girls can be scientists) as well as train sets, cars, blocks of all kinds, as well as crayons (no colouring books but blank sheets of paper), I am soon going to teach my 10 year old to use sling shot, she has her skate board, scooter, soccer ball. Thing is there is to life much more than we are forced into. We should not be limited by what government and industry tells us we should be. We should have and give our children opportunities outside the box. There is a world beyond the mini skirt, make up and looking cute, there is world of using your own brain, making your own decisions, being free thinker. How am I supposed to raise a child without her being conformist? How am I supposed to raise the daughter without forcing her in pink tutus and princess dresses? How am I supposed to raise the daughter that is free to make her own decisions in life and to be able to tell her: "Yes you can do it!" when society tells you "No you can't?" Are we locked to the colour? Are we locked to the role? Am I living in fantasy world by wanting to give my girl stars and moon? Am I wrong to tell her "Yes you can" without the society imposed "but thats for boys".
Thing is she is almost two. She does not have preferences or tastes. She can't say I like girls stuff or boys stuff, she does not have favourite colours, hell she likes them all as long they are bright. She loves playing soccer, she is chasing ball around house before she could walk, she draws with every crayon as long as it leaves trail, she is free and uncorrupted. How do I keep her like such? Should I tell everyone I know to politely fuck off and raise their own ducks their own way? Am I doing wrong thing by breaking social norms? Its hard being a parent for me the most important thing is seeing her smile and if she choses to play with the ball or rocket that is her choice.